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How To Write a Winning Internet Dating
Profile
You finally made the decision to join an Internet Dating
Service and now you have to write a short description about
your lifestyle, personality, likes and dislikes. This is make
or break time. If your profile is good you will receive lots of
emails begging you to have a conversation. If your profile is
poorly written you may receive no responses or only those from
inappropriate matches. Here is a collection of time tested tips
for writing an effective profile that will attract lots of
potentially compatible dates.
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1. Include photos. Even profiles with poor
photos receive 8 to 10 times more responses as compared to
profiles with no photos. Post 5 photos that include a
flattering head shot, a good body pose and a photo of you doing
something you enjoy. Try not to post 5 exact same poses. Use
current photos that truly represent what you look like
today.
Consider testing your photos at a photo rating website like
HotOrNot.com. This is one of many websites that allow you to
upload photos and have others rate them. Submit 10 photos to be
rated. Select only the highest rated photos to actually use in
your dating profile.
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If you are not particularly photogenic hire a professional
photographer.
2. Don’t copy other profiles entirely but
instead look for excellent examples of descriptive writing that
can be emulated. If you like the way a person has described
their interest in travel or their eyes for example, modify it
to fit your profile.
3. Don’t be negative. Don’t complain about bad
past relationships unless the point of your story is how you
have changed into a more desirable person. Most people are
looking for a relationship that will help them escape life’s
disappointments. Don’t drive them away.
4. Don’t come across too needy. Who is going
to be interested in being your slave, care taker or
psychologist? When writing your profile consider that your
readers will be asking themselves these two questions: 1. “Who
cares?” and 2. “What’s in it for me?”
5. Describe yourself honestly, accurately, and without
apology. If you are fat say so in a way that is
positive and not apologetic. There are quite literally millions
of people that are attracted to each and every body shape and
personality type.
Your goal should not be to win over people that aren’t
naturally attracted to your type because they will never fully
appreciate or enjoy you. Instead positively and accurately
communicate who you really are so the people that are looking
for your exact type will realize that they have found you.
It is one of the most satisfying feelings in the world to be
loved for just being yourself.
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6. Write with personal warmth as if you are
talking directly to a real person (because you are).
7. Include your values and opinions in a positive
way. Strong opinions will tell people a lot about you.
Those that disagree may pass you by but those that agree with
you may feel attracted to a kindred spirit. Be careful not to
express those opinions in a way that makes you appear
insensitive, disrespectful or intolerant. A know-it-all is no
fun for anyone.
8. Don’t try to be all things for all people.
If you claim to like every type of music, sports, body types
and personalities you may be stating that you have no
distinguishing interests. Tell what makes you different, not
the same as everyone else. You are not trying to attract
everyone that reads your profile. You are trying to eliminate
people that do not fit your needs.
9. Proof read, spell and grammar check your
profile. Also have several friends review the finished
profile. Write in complete sentences. Write complete words.
Write “please” not “plz“. Sloppy writing makes a negative first
impression like a dirty car. If you prefer a casual writing
style make sure that it communicates clearly with warmth and
lots of personality. Don’t make the mistake of appearing
sloppy, lazy or even ignorant.
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10. Make claims that are credible. Don’t say
that you are smart or funny or athletic. Instead tell a good
story to show how this is true.
11. Avoid meaningless clichés. Declaring that
you like to “live life to the fullest” it is just too vague.
That statement can easily mean different things to different
people. Instead illustrate your statement by describing a story
about a favorite hobby or vacation.
12. Don’t be too brief. You must include
enough information to offer a sufficient peek into your world.
If you are too brief you may not distinguish yourself enough to
stand out from the crowd. A long profile will quickly filter
out those that would not have been interested anyway but give
the interested dating service members enough information to
decide to contact you and not some else.
The advertising industry has proven this in definitive tests
for over 100 years. Well written, informative, long copy is
necessary and always outsells short copy.
13. Be bold but diplomatic about expressing your
personal preferences. If you prefer dates from a
certain race, religion, age or body type there is nothing wrong
with that. However express it clearly as your personal
preference only and not as a negative about the other excluded
types.
14. Don’t be too narrow when specifying the
characteristics of your ideal candidate. A long laundry list of
inflexible, narrow partner preferences might just scare away
good candidates.
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15. Test. Write several profiles and post each
one for two to four weeks to see which one gets the best
results.
16. Use humor. It shows that you are clever,
smart, fun and down to earth in ways that a direct claim will
not work. It also makes you seem more approachable. Don’t use
humor at others expense. Don’t use off color humor. Don’t use
too much self deprecating humor. This can be misinterpreted as
a lack of self confidence. Don’t worry about making everyone
laugh because you will always confuse and even turn off some.
The people that get a kick out of your specific brand of humor
will most likely be fun to be around.
17. Get Professional Help. Many internet
dating service companies are more than willing to review or
even write your profile for a nominal fee. They know that if
you are successful you will recommend their dating service to
your friends.
Keep in mind that you don’t need a perfect profile just one
that is a little more interesting and informative than the next
person. Since most dating service members do not bother to put
much effort into their profile those that do have a tremendous
advantage.
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by Patricia LaSonde -
9/2/2007
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